365 Days! The Wild Woman, The Wise Woman

Menopause diaries.

That's it, I am officially menopausal today. Even though I knew I was in my final year 6 months ago, I am elated to have arrived. I touched on this in a previous post, but the timing feels divine in so many ways.

The Mourning Period (pun not intended :))

In the last year, I finally shed the remnants of a skin I had already outgrown a while ago – I simply didn't know that's what was happening at the time. The discomfort, the feeling of having two versions of myself living inside my head for a while. And indeed, there were; I was having a hard time letting go of the version of myself I was used to hanging out with for so long. And initially, I was focused on the loss, even though it was never about losing something. The other version of me is still present, her stories, her challenges, her wisdom; she will always be with me. Perimenopause and now menopause have been a beautiful process of growth and integration. Yes, tears were shed, and grieving occurred, because there is always a period of mourning in any transition. The mourning period is a sacred time, a time I needed to take to adjust.

The Wild Woman

I remember reading Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés in 2022. The year before, I had begun showing the first signs of hormonal changes, and it had finally dawned on me that I was in the first stages of perimenopause. Unbeknownst to me, a few months after being given that book –by the most unexpected person– I entered the most challenging phase of my journey into perimenopause (so far). Reading Women Who Run With The Wolves was like meeting a kindred spirit; I felt seen, understood, and inspired by words that spoke directly to my soul. Clarissa Estés beautifully celebrates the Wild Woman archetype, the intuitive woman, the unapologetically self-assured woman, the soulful woman, the authentic woman. I think the Wild Woman archetype is often misunderstood because of the connotation of the word "wild"–perceived as threatening to the civilised world. For me, wild is nature, boundless, able to flourish freely, connected, centred, magical.

After a touch-and-go winter 2022-23, where I plunged into the depths of my soul, I continued to research what perimenopause and menopause entail, with the intention to do everything in my power to make this transition as smooth as possible.

The Wise Woman

I learned so much on the subject of menopause, but more importantly, I learned about myself, my feminine and masculine energies. I saw the value and the beauty in both. It was a time of deep soul searching, compassion, and self-love...divine love. The last year has felt like a homecoming; I've relaxed into this new state of being. I have been free of all my symptoms for the past 6 months, after they started to slowly wane in 2024. 2025 was a year of letting go and surrendering to make space for the next chapter. A lot of joy also came from this period of darkness and introspection. I experimented with many things on my quest to naturally alleviate the effects of hormonal imbalances, and then implemented what resonated and agreed with me the most. My inner geek and child thoroughly enjoyed this new learning curve. It was not solely about deep dives into my shadow side :D, it was also a time of discovery, creativity, and play. As I dedicated time to both, something shifted inside me, and I found myself at peace.

Are perimenopause and menopause "midlife crisis" – as we have been conditioned to expect from a very young age? Or is the crisis simply the return to the Wild Woman, the Wise Woman, after a time of neglect? A return to ourselves as we are when all the roles we play for others are stripped down. Is the intensity of the "crisis" a reflection of the extent of the disconnection –and the resistance– from the call of nature within?

Those are questions that just popped into my head as I write this, and perhaps questions that have a place when trying to navigate the "midlife" point. For me, the Wild Woman has always been a quiet companion, in the form of intuition, curiosity, vulnerability, and authenticity. In many ways, I feel like the Wild Woman is the precursor to the Wise Woman archetype. Perhaps perimenopause and menopause simply mark the shift from one to the other, from consistently living a life trusting one's heart, intuition, and inner knowing to embodied wisdom.

I'm very grateful that I managed to navigate through those years with healthy and natural remedies, and that my body and mind have been able to carry me through all of those experiences in my life. In the end, every woman experiences and approaches menopause in their own way, but I hope that it becomes something to celebrate rather than to dread. I wrote down my experience because I feel it is important to continue to openly discuss something that was 1. not part of the conversation for a long time, and 2. misunderstood because of the lack of discussion and research on the subject. Thankfully, this has begun to change. I am grateful that I am part of the generation that can begin to redefine our relationship with menopause, so that women feel empowered when the time comes. I hope this diary can be of value to both women and men, because the men in our lives are also affected by the changes we go through during this time. Honesty and open communication have the power to heal wounds we didn't know we carried.

#perimenopause #lifecycles #changes #aginggracefully #itdoesnthavetosuck