Ego Death, Lion's Gate Portal 2025 Three-Day Fast, Uniting The Shadow & The Light Within

Lion's Gate portal has been in full swing since July 26th, and it will end on August 12th, with its peak being today, 08/08 – like every year. I always have a surge of energy during this time of year, but 2025 has hit me way differently: a tidal wave of emotions, heightened intuition, synchronicities beyond the ones I am used to experiencing, deep personal insights, and spiritual awakening.

On Saturday, the 2nd of August, I experienced what is known as ego disintegration or ego death. Up until that point, I had some knowledge of what that meant, but it's only when I went through it myself that I understood the concept. It happened suddenly and at a random time, although I know now that it was months – if not years – in the making. There was a significant event that happened a week before, which I know led to the dissolution of my ego. To be honest, I am still trying to figure everything out. Although the magnitude of it all is felt instantly, I need time to process what has been brought to the surface. I spoke about it with a girlfriend of mine, who thankfully understood me, and I found it hard to find the words to describe the experience. And perhaps it is different for everyone; for me, it was a sinking feeling in my stomach, followed by a sudden realisation that all the things I had projected onto this one person were a result of the unresolved issues with myself, the buried pain, the wounds not fully healed when I thought they were. It had nothing to do with them; I have known that all along, but it was not fully integrated a week ago. Even though I fully understood intellectually that my feelings and emotions have nothing to do with the other person and their actions, my ego was still holding on for dear life, until it couldn't any more.

What ensued was a tidal wave of emotions: I felt great sadness for having hurt someone else because I was not yet ready to confront my deepest fears and insecurities, I then experienced deep joy because I felt liberated at the realisation – there was a lightness attached to the thought that I had been talking to myself all along when I kept saying for years that "it is never about the other person". Again, it made sense intellectually, but I needed to repeat it until it finally hit me (or should I say, until my ego finally got the message). Within minutes, I was overwhelmed with anxiety, panicking as my sense of identity was collapsing in front of my eyes. A week later, and I am still trying to comprehend what is happening to me. I had experienced a similar feeling during my heart chakra activation in 2018, but that experience was free of anxiety. In both cases, there was a sensation that a veil had been lifted.

I had already decided to do a three-day fast before all this, and I felt even more inclined to do so afterwards. I had my last meal on Monday evening and started the fast on Tuesday; I only drank herbal infusions and aloe vera water the entire day to hydrate my physical body and clear my mind. On Wednesday, I used bentonite clay and psyllium husk to cleanse my internal organs and bring some minerals and nutrients. Then yesterday, I drank bone broth the entire day to nourish and replenish all the systems in my body. Those three days, along with the past couple of weeks, have been life-changing and enriching at a level I knew existed, but was never able to imagine. After the initial shock of everything that has taken place within a very short amount of time, I am now trying to put the pieces together, reflecting on my relationship with myself and going inwards so that I can grow from (and integrate) this experience and bring all the aspects of myself into harmonious union. It is not an easy process by any means, and this awakening is in no way the end – it is the beginning of something beautiful – but I am ready for it.

#EgoDeath #Lionsgateportal2025 #Fasting #DivineFeminine #DivineMasculine